


Nodus Tollens

by Silvestial



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cross-posted on FF.net, Gen, M/M, SI-OC, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:35:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22261921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvestial/pseuds/Silvestial
Summary: In which an SI-OC as Black Zetsu decides that following Kaguya’s will is detrimental for his continued survival and proceeds to completely wreck the plot by not cooperating.
Comments: 65
Kudos: 481
Collections: A Collection of Beloved Inserts, Precious Rare and Unique, Reincarnation and Transmigration, wwwwwww





	Nodus Tollens

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly written for fun, please don’t take it too seriously. This was previously on FF.net under the user Silvestial and I have revised it a bit since then. There aren’t any added scenes, just a few more thoughts and better grammar.

_I do not own Naruto, only my OCs and certain turns of the plot._

* * *

He loves her more than anything else.

More than life, death, and everything else in between.

She is his sun, his moon, and his stars.

In a solar system of people, she is his entire universe.

He would drown the world in blood if it meant seeing her pleased.

The world rested at his fingertips and he would give it all to her.

Or at least he would've had his second consciousness not settled in.

* * *

A shapeless blob.

That's all he is.

A shapeless blob and a sorry excuse for art.

He isn’t sure who sculpted (carved? chiseled?) the utterly bizarre statue or even what it depicts (a person? a tree? a tree-person? He’s guessing it’s a deity of some sort but without a feel for the local religion, he’s fresh out of ideas) but it must be Important because he's been mindlessly lugging the stupid thing around for days, despite said statue being irrationally large and really fucking heavy. 

His memories are beginning to come back and already, he can feel the impending migraine. Or rather, he can feel the idea of an impending migraine because if he can live off nothing but water for weeks, a headache isn't going to lay him low.

* * *

His memories are back and with them come some realizations.

Yes, he's in what he thinks is the Naruto world.

There's really no other explanation. If he's hallucinating? Oh well. His life before wasn’t too great and he’d honestly rather live in this elaborate dreamworld than reality.

Yes, it seems he is in the body of one of the most hated characters in the Naruto universe.

Black Zetsu, if he recalls it correctly. The half plant, super powered being in a world of other super powered beings. If he was prone to boasting, he might remark on how overpowered he is now but as he doesn't wish to tempt fate, he stays quiet.

If he really is in the body of Black Zetsu, that means he's the literal manifestation of Kaguya's will.

He has to do her bidding... or something.

His face, er, jelly where his face should've been, twists into a scowl. He doesn't really feel like ruining the lives of billions for centuries to come. And with that, the being now known as Black Zetsu completely wrecks the plot.

* * *

It wasn't important to the original Black Zetsu but he likes feeling (and looking) human.

His first move as Black Zetsu is to fix the whole gelatin body issue. As he can remember how a human is supposed to look, it's fairly easy to... well, morph into one. If pressed to describe it, he might relate it to filling in a mould.

The ruined town where his mo- Kaguya's fight took place coughs up a few supplies for him, one of said supplies being a mirror. The scattered corpses littering the area give him an accurate reading on how realistic his human body looks and he changes up a few things to match the whole Asian ethnicity theme they have going on here.

He also kind of wants to wreck the faces of whoever drew Black Zetsu.

It's understandable that what everything looks like would be skewed because art, specifically anime style art, is different from reality but Black Zetsu... well, he isn't exactly the solid black entity that the show made him out to be. His skin is more of a... really dark grey. Charcoal, if he wants to be specific. It's basically black but it doesn't suck up light like the show made him think. He has... shadows on his skin, unlike in the show. He can actually see the definition in his face when he looks in the mirror. Nose, eyebrows, lips... they’re all clearly visible and all in all, he looks a whole lot more realistic than the solid black semi-human in the show.

He adds more personal touches, like hair, to this new body. Black waves slide down his skin, down his neck, past his neck, and suddenly he's left with like, five feet of silky black hair. He frowns. The hair retracts until it reaches his neck. It’s not quite perfect; his hair is disturbingly textureless and occasionally moves against gravity, but it makes him feel human again and that is what matters to him.

He takes a few more things from the town, namely clothes, then continues on his merry way.

Zetsu had mokuton, right?

Maybe he could take up farming.

* * *

Needless to say, he does not end up farming.

It's kind of hard to when people chase you out of town with pitchforks when they see your face. Look, he's aware that his face is freaky but pitchforks? Really? The screaming and crying was kinda unnecessary too.

It takes him visiting over twelve different towns before one of them finally lets him in.

It's also how he finds out that he doesn't have normal teeth, no, he has shark teeth.

Kinda like Kisame but more terrifying.

With the inside of his mouth being a solid grey as well, the teeth stand out sharply against the black hole that opens up in the middle of his face whenever he yawns.

Understandably, people are hesitant to even get close to him, much less talk to him after he opens his mouth.

After that he takes to wearing a bright red and white scarf. It effectively covers his mouth and makes him seem less threatening when people meet him.

It also reminds him of candy canes.

He misses candy canes.

* * *

The town is rather hostile his first week there. He doesn't have any money to pay for anything and the only thing that's actually his is the creepy statue he's still lugging around. The town's only inn won't even let him past the door.

The owner starts singing a different tune when he demonstrates his ability to make the garden out back start growing massive amounts of food.

It's extremely gratifying to see the shock and awe of people directed at him for once.

* * *

People still don't trust him but they don't openly avoid him like before.

Well, they still do, but at least it's more subtle than suddenly crossing the street to get away from him.

He currently has a deal with the inn. As long as he keeps churning out food, he gets to stay. He's started keeping the creepy statue in his room, locked behind what he guesses is the closet. It doesn't look like his idea of a closet but he isn't sure what else it could be.

Someone finally decided to take him up on his offer of instant fresh veggies because now he's got his very own stall in the market.

After meeting up with some lady in an orange dress, he finally has his own place to sell... stuff.

Hmmm.

He starts out with tiny wooden figurines. Little birds, bears, and wolves.

The rest of his space is taken up by a number of fruits and vegetables.

Nobody buys any of his things.

It... hurts. More than it should.

* * *

Summer starts to leave and with it come cooler temperatures.

He can't feel temperature, just a dull sense of hey, that's hot, or hey, that's really cold.

He's understandably confused when suddenly he's the only one with perfectly fresh fruits and vegetables. 

The old woman who runs the soap stall next to him takes pity. "They're outta season. That's why nobody be sellin' them. It's fall; too cold for most'a them plants." He startles, jerking around to look at her.

Oh.

Fall.

Has it really been so long?

"Ah," Is all he says back.

They don't talk again.

* * *

It takes being the only one with vegetables and fruit for someone to buy something. 

Snow is coming down in thick sheets of white and he's leaning against the counter, bored out of his mind. Then suddenly, someone knocks into the counter and he can see their warm breath puffing out from here.

"Can I help you?" He asks, perfectly polite.

Not that it ever seemed to make a difference in how people treated him.

"H-How much is it f-for two tomatoes?" He blinks in surprise but responds quickly, not wanting to lose a potential customer. " 32 ryo."

He's even more surprised when the _clink-clink-clink_ of coins greets his ears as his customer takes the price without haggling.

Weird.

The coins are hastily shoved into his stall by a glove clad hand and he silently hands the person their two tomatoes.

After that, the more people start showing up and then his business is rolling.

* * *

The seasons pass as do the years.

He continues selling vegetables and fruits at his stall.

More and more people get used to him and he gets used to them buying his things.

He doesn't let anyone know other than the innkeeper that he has mokuton. Nobody (that he knows of) has 'discovered' chakra yet so his... 'magic tricks' will stay 'magic tricks'.

He eventually gets enough ryo to buy his own house.

It's laughably easy to immediately start altering the inside for his own comfort. The creepy statue is set in the basement, all possible entryways cut off by roots. Only he will be able to enter. It's for the best, he thinks.

He hasn't changed much at all.

He doesn't need to eat, drink, sleep... hell, he doesn't even really need to breathe.

The only thing that's changed is his wardrobe. Gone are his tattered clothes. Now he wears a particularly ugly tan cloak that covers up most of his body.

He still has the peppermint striped scarf, though.

He's attached to that article of clothing.

* * *

He should've expected something like this.

He really should've expected something like this.

Roots surge up from the ground and his abnormally ugly tan cloak flutters dramatically in the sudden wind.

It’s hilariously like an anime fight scene, something he finds ironic considering what universe he lives it. This leads to a second chain of thought where he wonders if this scene is being drawn and animated for all to see.

The bandits scream as dull green roots erupt from their chests and drag them down, down into the earth.

No, he decides eventually, this scene probably wouldn’t be animated due to the graphic nature. Drawn, perhaps, but not animated.

The townspeople are beginning to stare at him, some in horror, others in awe. A select few are looking fairly devote. He avoids those people in particular.

The earth surges as his roots completely envelop the bodies and then sink back down, leaving nothing but disturbed earth and blood patches in their wake.

He turns and walks away, extended arm falling back down to his side. People part for him like the sea parted for Moses.

He thought it would feel different; killing someone for the first time. He just feels numb.

* * *

Surprisingly enough, people still buy from his stall. Actually, if anything, there's more people coming to buy from his stall. 

Weird.

* * *

It happens again and again. Bandits keep coming back to terrorize the roads to the town and the town itself. They meet a gruesome death each and every time. - People are beginning to worship him. It's uncomfortable and awkward when he's faced with their reverent stares every time he walks through town. Their... devotion is so far from how he was originally treated that he's almost getting whiplash. But he keeps on killing because he happens to like this town and bandits threaten that. - "So... who are you?" Someone finally asked him the question. It's in the dead of summer, cicadas chirping in the background, and it's been four years since he got here. Not one person has ever really talked to him. "I am Zetsu,” He says and the stranger inexplicably brightens, ridiculous purple hair flopping to the side as he cocks his head. "Hello Zetsu-san!" He says, and Zetsu startles slightly because nobody has ever said his name and smiled directly after. "A-and you are?" He asks, because he isn't accustomed to actually interacting with someone outside of work. Is this the polite thing to do? He isn't sure.

"Aa, I'm Hiroshika Tamaki. I was wondering if you would like to have lunch with me?" The purple haired stranger, now known as Hiroshika, asks him and Zetsu... Zetsu is confused. Slightly bewildered, somewhat flattered, but confused nonetheless.

"...Lunch? With me?" He says because he doesn't really need to eat and why would someone want to do so with him?

"Mmhm,” Hiroshika hums, looking rather self satisfied. "I- uh, sure?" Zetsu says finally, briefly glancing away as the man lights up. He... supposes he can make an effort to eat with Hiroshika if that is what the other desires.

* * *

”So what do you like to eat?" Hiroshika asks him as they walk down the streets after Zetsu closed up shop. "I don't," He replies with and realizes a little too late that it might've been the wrong thing to say. "...I'm sorry?" Hiroshika inquires, looking rather bewildered. "I do not require sustenance," Zetsu repeats and now he's tempted to put his face in his hands. This isn't going well.

"So you... don't eat?" Hiroshika says after a long silence and Zetsu risks a cursory glance at him, thankfully finding his expression to be more bemused than anything. "Not really,” Zetsu says and that earns him another odd look. "You really don't eat anything? How do you... y'know, live?" Hiroshika asks and Zetsu... isn't sure what to tell him. "Magic,” He replies, completely deadpan and is more than a little alarmed when Hiroshika seems to take it at face value.

"Really?"

"No."

"Aww man."

* * *

They end up at Hiroshika's favorite sushi stand.

Zetsu ends up trying it.

It's good.

Not that he'll ever tell Hiroshika that.

* * *

After that it becomes routine.

Zetsu likes fish, meat, and sweet things.

He does not like, however, any and all forms of alcohol, breads, and overly salty things.

Noodles are okay but only when heaped with fish and meat.

Together with Hiroshika, Zetsu tries all of these things.

He's hesitant to say it but he thinks they might be... friends.

* * *

He feels warm all over. Just another reason he dislikes alcohol. He could, technically, wash out the feeling with a wave of his inhuman chakra but Hiroshika claims that being drunk is 'part of the experience'. Zetsu just regrets that he got dragged into the 'experience' in the first place.  
There are at least four other people here in the bar but with their secluded corner seat, he feels like they're the only people in the room.

"... and nobody's caught your attention?" Zetsu sighs, dragging together his scattered thoughts to focus on Hiroshika.

"Hello! Earth to Zetsu! Has nobody caught your attention?"

He blinks. What a weird question. Sure, loads of people get his attention each day because he has to pay attention to what produce they're grabbing but the only person Zetsu can think of that has his attention more than anyone else is... "You?"

Hiroshika laughs.

"What?" Zetsu asks, feeling particularly defensive.

“No, no, like a woman. Has anyone caught your, y'know, _attention_?" Hiroshika asks again and Zetsu scowls.

He wasn't even sure if he could reproduce anyways. Yeah, he could admire a nice chest but it wasn't really sexual.

He was just... curious.

He didn't really feel anything other than that.

"No."

And that was that. 

* * *

Times passes, seasons change, and Zetsu is remembering that the original Zetsu lived for centuries without aging.

It hurts.

* * *

Hiroshika has a wife now. She's pregnant, heavy with their first child. Zetsu can sense the child's growing chakra network and it worries him.

The town is growing bigger each day. More people are moving in, having children, and expanding further into the woods. He's started hearing news of giant beasts and super powered people wrecking the land.

He wants to leave.

It hurts, seeing everyone moving on without him. He's still an oddity but he's a known oddity. He's old news to the town.

But he waits because Hiroshika is his first friend and wants him here.

* * *

Years crawl by and Zetsu is slowly disappearing.

Hiroshika is busy with his three kids, he doesn't have time for Zetsu. Perhaps it’s rude of him, but Zetsu finally decides that enough is enough. A short but emotionally charged letter later and Zetsu is leaving. He packs up his things, mostly clothing and the creepy statue, and doesn't look back.

The town is wrecked by bandits and Zetsu isn't there to stop them.

Many people die.

He doesn't care.

It's only when he finds out that Hiroshika died with them that Zetsu rages.

The entire town he is staying in is swallowed by his roots. He doesn't care. It’s starting to become a theme.

* * *

He wanders for a while.  
Time blurs together, marked only by the first snowfall and the start of intense heat waves.

The weather is all sorts of screwy he decides. It doesn't make any sense.

But still, he wanders.

He visits the ocean where people have teeth like him.

He visits the mountains where his skin color doesn't stand out as much.

He visits the forests full of trees that seem to touch the sky and finds a temple containing a bright orange chakra fox.

The chakra fox tells him to piss off. He doesn't. 

* * *

"So what's your name?" He asks the chakra fox.

He gets the feeling that he already knows the answer but he wants to make sure.

"Fuck off."

"Vulgar," He remarks.

"Go away!" The fox in front of him howls.

Said fox isn't the size it was in canon so the rage isn't as scary. It's growing, though.

* * *

It's one of the more peaceful nights when the fox comes back.  
He's sitting on the temple steps, staring up at the night sky. The moon that contains Kaguya is a pale yellow against the endless starry night.

He doesn't want to think about her so he redirects his gaze to the stars.

"What are you looking at?" The fox asks, laying down near him.

"The stars," He replies.

The fox doesn't respond so Zetsu continues. "Did you know that stars are just really big balls of gas, burning brightly millions of miles away?" He asks.

He doesn't get an answer.

Zetsu looks over. The fox is asleep.

* * *

"You feel like him."

"Who?"

"The Sage."

"Yeah."

* * *

"Why are you here?"

"Why are any of us here?"

The fox scowls.

Neither of them answer the other's question. 

* * *

"Kurama."

"What?"

”My name."

"Oh, well, then I'm Zetsu."

And that's that.

* * *

Clouds gather on the horizon.

The sky darkens with the prospect of rain.

It's a good day to mourn.

"I miss him."

"The Sage?" Kurama asks, one red eye slipping open to view him.

"Him too, I guess."

He never really knew the Sage other than that they were technically brothers.

Zetsu can see the curiosity in Kurama's eyes.

"His name was Hiroshika. He was my... friend."

"What happened?"

"What always happens? He died. Humans tend to."

The silence they share is bitter and tainted with sadness. If Kurama noticed that he didn't include himself as a human, he didn't mention it.

* * *

He's tired.

He knows it, Kurama knows it, and it isn't getting any better.

He's chronically tired and he feels that if he lays down, he won't be getting back up.

Kurama is spending more and more time at the temple with him.

The fox claims it's because humans are starting to go after him for destroying their towns and he wants some peace.

Zetsu doesn't doubt that the humans are going after Kurama but he's pretty certain that wouldn't stop the fox.

Kurama talks sometimes about his siblings. About icky Matatabi, the little two tailed hellcat. About baby Isobu, the three tailed pushover. About arrogant Gyuki, the one who constantly tries to one-up Kurama. Zetsu learns all about them. It feels like a foreign concept to him. Family. He must've had one in his previous life but most of the personal details have faded.

It makes something heavy tug as his chest.

It must be nice; having a family.

Despite Kurama's attempts, Zetsu slips off into sleep.

It's winter, flurries of white snow coming down in sheets. The creepy statue is under the temple, hidden behind powerful roots at the last second. He's so exhausted and so cold. The temple is warm but he feels like he's freezing from the inside out.

Zetsu gives in, finally, and darkness envelops him. It's comforting, like sinking into a hot bath at the end of a long day. It feels like coming home. That's how Kurama finds him, curled up in the corner, fast asleep.

Months pass and he doesn't wake.

Another year slips by and still, Zetsu sleeps.

Kurama keeps coming back anyways.

He grows and he grows and he amasses hatred and rage at the humans but he still checks.

He keeps coming back right up until he can't.

* * *

He awakes to dust.

Dust and snow.

The fire in the temple has gone cold.

It's been out for years.

The temple is dusty. The silence is solemn. The walls around him stand stoic and proud despite their weathered appearance.

The air is drafty and cold, the front doors of the temple thrown open without care.

Nobody has been here for a very long time.

_Kurama?_


End file.
